cheap bastard

another one of my favourites.
so one day i was put on the spot by this guy i knew who asked me on a date. i sooo did not want to go out with this guy for the following reasons:
1. he was short
2. he had a rat face
3. i kinda thought he was a girl when i first met him
4. he had glasses (i have nothing against glasses really, i wear them myself. but they were not a good look for this guy, trust me)
5. he had kind of a weird name that i would sooo love to post on here but i guess i can't
6. he had no car

anyway like i said he put me on the spot so i had no choice but to say yes. so he calls me up one evening and asks me if i want to go out. so i say yes, grudgingly. then he asks me if i can pick him up. now there are big huge alarm bells going off in my head saying DANGER! DANGER! but oh well, i don't want to discriminate against this guy just because he has no car so okay i say i'll pick him up.

so when i get to his work to pick him up and he gets in the car, he has no idea where he wants to go.
this is UNACCEPTABLE to me.
first of all, didn't you have plenty of time to think about it while your pedestrian ass was sitting here waiting for me to pick you up? secondly, why the fuck did you ask me out if there's nothing you want to do with me? i am sooo not feeling this guy at all but i already got up, got dressed, and burned off my gas to get here so i guess i might as well go along with it.

so at some point during my silent tirade, buddy comes up with the brilliant idea that we should go down to the lakeshore. keep in mind folks that it's around 7 o'clock in the evening in July. do you know what that means?? it means fucking mosquitoes. but i guess it also means "cheap date" to this guy's broke ass, because if you think this guy at least took (and i use the term loosely because with no car this guy isn't really taking me anywhere) me to a restaurant or even an ice cream truck down there? hell no! this guys takes me to sit on a bench. nice.

so here's a snippet of the scintillating conversation:

Buddy: "So do you like basketball?"
Me: "No i don't really like sports" (this isn't true by the way but i was just so HATING this guy at this point)
Buddy: "So do you like football?"
Me: "No i don't really like sports"
Buddy: "So do you like volleyball?"
Me: "No i don't really like sports"

okay. you get the picture.

So after what feels like ten hundred hours of this, i tell buddy that i want to go to tim horton's (i love me some tim horton's!) so we get in the car and drive to tim's. we get in line and when we get to the counter, i order a large tea (which at that time cost $1 plus GST - cheap date huh?) and this guy orders an extra large hot chocolate. So i take out my wallet to pay for my tea and not only does this asshole not stop me, he makes no move to pay for his expensive ass beverage.

now let me just interject to say that i have no problem paying my own way on a date. hey if i can't afford a tea at tim's i need to stay my ass home. but since i had to drive and pick this guy up, i feel like i've already spent enough on this date that i didn't even want to go on, so

maybe you could kick something in besides your scintillating conversation?

guess not.

so we're walking away from the counter and all of a sudden buddy turns to me and says "i never pay to get into clubs. i have never paid to get into a club in my life. i can't understand people who pay to get into clubs"okay first of all, what the hell are you talking about? how did we get from volleyball to this? secondly, being too cheap to pay $10 to get into a party that cost a promoter $5000 to put on does not make you cool. it makes you pathetic. and thirdly, since you're saving so much goddamn money by not paying to get into clubs, do you think maybe you could hit me off with a little gas money or at least pay for your own goddamn hot chocolate?!?

anyway.

so he asks me to drop him off at the subway station. which i do. he gets out of the car with neither a good bye nor a thank you and...
and...
AND THEN HE NEVER CALLED ME AGAIN!!!!!!!