a banner week

Well my friends I have a great one for you today.

So it was my birthday about a month ago and I celebrated by tagging on to my friend Neddy's birthday party in Yorkville. I spent most of the night on the smoking patio where I met this boy named Leslie (not his real name). he was....alright. alright looking, alright personality, but he had two major things going for him: he smokes and he wore Gucci shoes. he asked me for my number even though I told him I had a boyfriend, which should have been my first clue but since I don't really have a boyfriend I didn't want to be a stickler :) he called the next day (second clue) and we had a conversation that can only be described as...unspectacular and kind of annoying - ladies you know the type, doesn't identify himself, keeps talking to other people in the room, calling me baby and sweetie and all this shit. anyway, when I got off the phone with him after about an hour or so I was really not impressed but decided not to close the door on him because I had another positive to add to the smoking and Gucci shoes: he reads books.

anyway, long story short, we talked on the phone a few more times over the next few weeks and then last Saturday he asked if I wanted to do something. I was crusty but horny so I said yes (not that I was planning on sleeping with him but I thought at least I could get felt up or something). so we made plans to meet at this little lounge downtown at 10:30. When I hadn't left my house by 10:20, I sent him a text letting him know I was running late and would be there by 11 o'clock. no response. ok whatever. so I get there just before 11:00 and he's not there.

so I wait.
and wait.
and wait.

and by 1 o'clock when I left he still hadn't showed

(why did I wait so long for a guy I didn't even like? read on).

it's been eight days and the motherfucker still hasn't called.

he'd better be dead, that's all I have to say.

Anyway, the good news is that while I was waiting for this fucker to show up last Saturday, a certain boy that I've been crushing on for some time came to chat with me. oh we had a lovely time, talked a bit, he bought me a drink (practically unheard of in this city), and I think may have even flirted a bit. so I went home and sent him an email, to which he responded within 12 hours. impressive.

in his response he asked me if I wanted to grab a bite with him that week. so I said "sounds good. let me know when". So he suggests Tuesday. I say okay, what time?
and wait.
and wait.
and wait for a response.

Tuesday morning I get an email saying he's not feeling well and can we do it Wednesday instead? I say okay, what time?

and wait.
and wait.
and wait for a response,

which doesn't come until FRIDAY. yes, that's right I said Friday. He emailed me Friday morning apologizing for "being incognegro" because he was sick. He suggests we do it on Monday instead (that would be tomorrow). he tells me he needs my number. so I reply and send my number.

and wait.
and wait.
and wait for a call.

that was Friday. it's Sunday. tomorrow is Monday.
have I heard from him? that would be a hell's fuckin' no

this story hasn't ended yet, but I think we all know where it's going....

say it with me folks!
and then.
and THEN

AND THEN HE NEVER CALLED ME!